


Me Writing Everyday Until I Escape my Never-Ending Writer's Block

by cielmxaelis



Category: - - Fandom
Genre: Challenges, Diary/Journal, Writer's Block
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 01:18:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19367302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cielmxaelis/pseuds/cielmxaelis
Summary: Hey, everyone. I'm cielmxaelis and I have the literal worst case of writer's block anyone has ever seen, period. I've had it for like seven months, and despite me wanting to get out of it, absolutely nothing ever comes to mind when I sit down and pick up a pen. So, I've decided to write everyday until I can't stop, no matter the subject. The contents in this completely random journal of stuff may be personal may range from extremely violent, super heart-felt, mature and graphic, fantasy or real events, or anything in between, so I'll make sure to post notes at the top of any such chapters.Thanks!cielmxaelis





	1. 26 June, 2019: Moderate Sociopathy

**Author's Note:**

> It took me like an hour to figure out what to write; thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
> 
> This chapter is about my moderately sociopathic, unable to feel remorse, experience.  
> Don't @ me sksdjnskjld

I often ask myself:  _is doing something that one should regret, but doesn't, make them a bad person?_

     Of course it depends on severity, but in general. Does it make you as a person, terrible?

I only think about this when something as such comes up.

 

Exhibit A: "It's my cousins' funeral today, they were shot dead," they said, whereas I don't respond. For I have nothing to say.

Exhibit B: "Can I use your phone just this once to call my parent? I'm sorry to ask you of all people, but I can't get home any other way." says the person I hate with my entire being; who's existence I question everyday. The person I've called pathetic to their face.

     "Sorry, my phone is dead." I speak, already walking away with my charge actually at a usable twenty percent. They curse to themselves, meanwhile I smirk behind their back, and while writing this. I don't regret.

 

     Maybe it's because I have my own problems to deal with. Maybe it's because I've experienced many things far worse than them. Maybe it's because I like the feeling of shrugging in the face of others. Who knows. Could be all three for all anyone else is concerned. I have regret before, though. It's mostly at times that don't matter, like if I, myself, made the atmosphere uncomfortable by speaking or doing something, or if I taunted the entity in the room next to mine without thinking of the consequences (not metaphorically, literally). Maybe I accidentally dropped a tea packet in my classroom, overwhelming me, even though nobody saw. I only regret in the most inconvenient, those only-i'll-remember moments. But if someone mentions to me they got sick, or didn't get the job (etc.), oh god forbid I feel any remorse for them. Maybe it's because I think they're looking for attention.

     Although I label myself sociopathic, i'm not actually that anti-social. I have many friends to speak with, and that I contact often. (I'm in a performing art, which may be why i'm so open and friendly to those around me.) But my going out with them to hang out, is where that line ends. I love being alone despite having people to go to anytime, so I will either reject them, or go out with extreme anxiety. I always take into account society's rules, and follow them diligently, while articles on this topic would say otherwise.

This is all why I say, "Moderate Sociopathy"

I don't have any second thoughts before acting after considering consequences, but I do care for those around me.


	2. 27 June, 2019: Sebaciel One-Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very explicit Ciel and Sebastian one-shot. I'll post It separately from this as it's own individual write.

     It was quite late in the evening, around twelve AM. All five of the Phantomhive servants has left the lord to their own chambers hours before this moment in time. While the Little Earl Ciel was still awake? Nobody knew why, except the lingering demon, who just so happened to hear his many muffled pleas.

     The King of the Underworld, and Queen Victoria's private watchdog, lied smothered under a thick goose feathered comforter where, at first glance, would allow nobody to see how he was completely and utterly immersed in the area between his legs. The small boy has had an erection that's been there ever since Sebastian gave him a mere kiss on the lips before, supposedly, going to sleep. Earl Phantomhive traveled his tightly wound hand up from the base of his shaft, to the very top while simultaneously teasing the tip, and again back down to where he had started, repeating in numerous fast pace motions. His thin torso lifted whenever his back arched, biting the bottom of his kissable lips, then inaudibly calling out for that demon butler he owned.

_haa.. Sebastian.. f.. 'uck_

Of course Sebastian could hear his Young Master call his name. It was only natural. The boy was submerged in his own subconsciously desirable thoughts, but if Sebastian was summoned according to his lord's wishes and commands, then he was to appear. No questions asked. He took his time sauntering to Ciel's bedchambers, as it was nice to hear such an improper act take place. He could listen to the moans of this tiny Earl for all of eternity. 

     Upon entry, Sebastian inaudibly turned around to lock the large bedroom door, blew out the white wax candle, and appeared hovering over his lord's dreadfully warm body.

"You implored me, young master?" The butler whispered, absolutely giving the earl the biggest fright he had ever experienced, ever.

"God dammit.. S-s.. 'ebastian what are you doing here.." Ciel threw a quiet fit underneath his demon's perfectly built body, but couldn't shake his deep yearning thoughts. 

"Why, you only called out for me. Do you have no recollection?" Before his young master began to speak, Sebastian removed the boy's right hand from his throbbing youth and  held it above his head. 

_Bastard.._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will continue writing this chapter in a hot minute


End file.
